Sunday, September 11, 2016

Game 28: The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle

I like Rocky and Bullwinkle. I really do. I have fond memories of it growing up, it was the sort of cartoon that a 10 year old could get behind. Bad puns, funny accents, talking animals, rabbits being pulled out of hats. It was pretty alright!

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, however, is another story.

Let's examine the title screen first. Bullwinkle (he's the moose) is buried halfway into the ground. Rocky is...shorter than I remember.

Also, there's a bee just floating around aimlessly. What does this have to do with anything? Does its random walk give us any information about the game at hand? Or is it just a warning to not lead an aimless life, to find something truly worth pursuing and use all of our energy to grasp at it?

And Bullwinkle looks so tired. He's so tired, and he's seen something that haunts him. Look at his eyes. Bullwinkle is ready to get on with the game because, if nothing else, it will distract him from the terrors of reality.

Bullwinkle has some messed up nightmares is what I'm saying.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Game 27: The Adventures of Pinocchio

Another exciting adventure awaits us here at No Batteries. Pinocchio, the very difficult to spell hero of such classics as "Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night" and "Pinocchio's Revenge," is a favorite for companies trying to cash in on a Disney classic without actually paying for the license. I'm all for this sort of appropriation, but it doesn't typically bode well for the quality of the actual product. Semi-underhanded attempts at cashing in on more famous media aren't usually known for their quality.

So I didn't have high hopes when I booted this game up, especially considering the wide array of mismatching fonts on the title screen.

But in a way, we've stumbled across a lost treasure of the Game Boy. The game itself is awful, but the story behind the game is very interesting.

Which is why we're saving it for last. Foreshadowing and all that.